Boredom and Tiredness

I believe there is a link between how tired you are and how bored you are. The other day I found myself extremely bored. Did I have stuff to do? Yes. Lots of stuff. The problem was, I didn't have the gumption to do it (yes, I just used the word gumption). I was doing everything but what I needed to. I was watching hulu, playing computer games, and just wasting my time. I was also bored out of my mind. Here's the kicker: today I feel the same way. I am battling myself to stay on task and wish I could have a perpetual bucket of water poured on my head to wake me up. I have no gumption. Here's the correlation between my boredom episodes: both of these bored times were after fairly late nights. I am going to do some research on myself and see if I can gather data evidence to back up my theory, but I believe that there is a correlation between boredom and tiredness.

The link is fairly easy to see after you think about it for a minute. When you're tired, what happens? Your brain shuts down to the point of wanting to sleep. When I am at work, I can't sleep. At least, I have to look like I'm awake, right? So, the recipe of a shut-down brain and having to stay awake is also the recipe for boredom. The key is the brain is not finding excitement nor fulfillment in anything you are doing. So, it follows that the brain will try to find entertainment in the usual places that are fun and exciting, watching TV, playing a game, and just regular, non-physical forms of entertainment. You've got a mountain of stuff to do, none of which looks appealing and so the brain naturally goes elsewhere to find something fun. You then begin that activity only to realize that this activity is also not fun (because your brain is turned off) and you look for the next thing and the next until you waste your time, go home, and sleep.

What is the solution, you might ask? Obviously get to bed earlier. Sometimes young parents will not get the best sleep because of children and what not, but by and large, getting to bed earlier will be the best option to stave off boredom. So, before staying up, you have to weigh in your mind how productive you want to be tomorrow compared to the benefits of staying up. Is the time you are spending up worth the loss in productivity the next day? Many times, yes. But it is something to think about before taking the leap.

Stress

As defined by the world's dictionary, dictionary.com, stress means "physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension". My desire with this post is to post my own thoughts on stress, what the causes are in my view, and how to confront and conquer those feelings. This post is written more for myself than for anyone else, as it seems my stress level has been risen to before unknown levels of late. We'll get to my own stress in a minute; let's get to general stress.

In my experience, stress is not caused by what is happening in the moment. Yes, I know you mothers who are dealing with a very tense crying baby right now are thinking, "Right..." (insert sarcastic tone here). I believe stress is caused by the fear of what is to be. For example, let us consider the following: you are driving down the road and all the sudden you feel the thump-thump and realize that your car has a flat tire. Add to that, your kids are in the car. Now take a step back and consider the situation. You have probably 5 different solutions to the flat tire problem already coming to mind (as that is what the brain does, thinks of solutions). The stress is not in what is happening at that moment. The stress enters as you consider what is going to happen. How are my kids going to do? What if this lasts longer than I expect, do I need to get a babysitter? What if they start crying while I'm in the middle of changing the tire/waiting for someone to come help out? I'm going to be late for my appointment! And the list goes on and on. What is happening at the moment is perfectly manageable. What will happen, because it is unknown, is not.

So, you ask, how does one conquer such natural and human inner feelings? How? That is the ultimate question that I am going to take a stab at. The brain can only focus on one item at a time with any amount of quality. Yes, it is true, humans were made to only be able to do one thing at a time. While you may think you can do more than one thing at a time, what you are really doing is one thing very quickly and then shifting focus to the next very quickly and back again. So, take a step back and analyze the situation. Your brain has already thought of several solutions to the problem at hand, so then think of any other problems stemming from this situation. The children will need lunch, how do you fix this? Now on to the next one, the children may get bored and subsequently cry, how do you fix this? Move from one item to the next until you have figured out how to get every problem under control. Remember, if you focus on everything at the same time, you will only feel the pressure increase. If you take one at a time it should relieve at least part of the stress as the future is now in your hands and not in some mystic I-don't-know-what's-going-to-happen's hands.

The key to this is the taking a step back part. I have found that focusing on my breathing is a great tool wherewith I focus on the here and now. Nothing is more important nor more relaxing. Just breath in and out slowly 4 times. This will help you focus on the here and now. It will also calm you down to focus on the immediate solutions.

Now on to my own personal stress. I am a father of two. My wife is usually working when I get home which leaves the care of the children with me after work. The chores are basically split between the two of us. I am taking classes which take my time after the girls go to sleep. I am really not much busier than most people, but there is a lot on my plate. So, in my mind I have many things going on. What if the chores take longer than expected so I can't get to my homework? I will then have to go to bed a little later, but then tomorrow I won't be able to think as productively. What if the homework I submit is not as good as it needs to be? Then I may not pass the class... and on and on. Notice anything in my self-talk? It is all about future events. I am in control now. I am getting things done now. The future will come and I can handle it when it comes.

Now, I am not advocating a total dismissal of future consequences. I do think we need to focus more on what we are doing right than what we are going to be possibly doing wrong in the future. In the Star Wars movie, Luke was so focused on what was going to happen to his friends that he abandoned his training and was almost killed because of it. Yoda sums up the principle I'm trying to portray best here. While this may be a fictitious story, the principle taught I believe to be a true principle.

So, my friends, focus on what you are doing. Take the best action for the desired consequences, and take life one step at a time. One problem at a time. That's my solution.